The first time I fell In love…

Who knows when the first was? Who knows what love is? Who know what they are really feeling at any give moment? So why do they call it falling? Maybe because the feeling in the pit of your stomach feels the same as to when you are falling in your dreams? Have you ever had that dream that you are falling; doesn’t it feel the same as when you see someone you love? I don’t think the first time you liked a boy or a girl was the first time you fell in love…I think the first time your heart was broken and you thought it was beyond repair was the first time you had felt love.
Now let’s look at the word love…
Now love can mean a lot of things as I have read, but nothing that I have read makes me feel comfortable about what love is. What does it mean to love someone? I know that I love my children; I will seize to exist if I had to loose them, but I don’t feel the same way about my husband. Why is that so because I love my husband but I guess not as much as I love my kids? (And everyone out there judging me right now is a hypocrite because they feel the same way and are in very deep denial about it) My children are a part of me, they had come from me and even though I’m the shittiest person in the world to some people, they will love me unconditionally until the day they feel some sort of hurt and then they will start questioning it, this is of course natural and normal for the manipulated mind. Now my husband, he is someone he created and I fell in love with the person he thinks his is and in order for me to love that person I have created someone in my heart too whom he fits the description of to about 80%. The other 20% is the shit I didn’t think of and are usually the deal breakers.
Love: a strong feeling of affection.deep affection, fondness, tenderness, warmth, intimacy, attachment, endearment; devotion, adoration, doting, idolization, worship; passion, ardour, desire, lust, yearning, infatuation, adulation, besottedness “his friendship with Helen grew into love”compassion, care, caring, regard, solicitude, concern, warmth, friendliness, friendship, kindness, charity, goodwill, sympathy, kindliness, altruism, philanthropy, unselfishness, benevolence, brotherliness, sisterliness, fellow feeling, humanity “their love for their fellow human beings”relationship, love affair, affair, romance, liaison, affair of the heart, intrigue, amour “he is confident that their love can survive”
Now… being inlove… Ahhh now I have read a lot about this too… And with everything I have read this seems to a physical form of love. Lust that turns into love; a continuous wanting of another person. So when do you really start loving someone? When you stop being in love with them but in order to stay in love forever you need to first love that person.
In Love: a strong feeling of affection and sexual attraction for someone.”they were both in love with her”
besotted with, infatuated with, enamoured of, love-struck by, smitten with, passionate about, with a passion for, consumed with desire for; More captivated by, bewitched by, enthralled by, entranced by; devoted to, doting on;
informalmad/crazy/nuts/wild/potty about, bowled over by, carrying a torch for;
informaltwitterpated by

If you are over the age of 30 and you have had more than 2 sexual relationships (of at least 1 year and longer) you have not loved anyone. I should know I’m in my second marriage right now. You have been very much in love but you have not loved. How do you know? Because for some or other reason you stopped taking the time to love that person. Or love was just not what you were looking for, because a lot of people mistake companionship sparked by lust and the inevitable chances of having shit in common as love and later when you feel nothing… Nothing and you can walk away form a person who you shared your body (your most sacred possession) with you have not loved. You probably have never even loved yourself.

The first time I fell in love was when I looked in the mirror and the girl looking back at me was someone I couldn’t live without. She was everything to me and I wanted her forever. And knew all her flaws and all her imperfection and still I loved her. She fulfilled me and made me want to be great because I couldn’t let her down. She was a mother to two beautiful kids who loved her back and they needed her as much as she needed them. She was a wife to a wonderful man who in all is own imperfections loved her with all her imperfections. She was daughter to a set of parents who needed her honesty and love from time to time and a sister to siblings who needs guidance and so much love and support.

So before you can love anyone you first need to love yourself. Fall in love with You. Look at you and be honest about the person looking back at you and then be.

Once you know love of self you will be able to find love in others. And if love is not what you are looking for don’t offer it to someone who wants love forever and now just a brief stint of in love for a moment.

Don’t mistake love for character because that is what hurts you in the long run. Love is in the heart and the actions of someone. Character is self made and misleading even to one’self. You will start seeing what I mean when you start looking at things with love in sight and not inlove in mind.